The MisAdventures of STARS! Before the Zombie
by WonderGuy
Summary: What if S.T.A.R.S were wacky? This is a story of S.T.A.R.S's adventures before all the zombie stuff. Episode 1: The Slumber ParTAY!


Chris Redfeild was writing in his diary at home.

Friday, October 16, 1996

6:00 PM

Today a cop-squad just formed. And I was lucky to have joined. It seems like yesterday that I remember Barry Burton recruiting me. I even remember his words. "Hey! You have some pretty good skills! You know? I was looking for someone to join a new squad of police, and I think you'd be a good choice! Not as good as me, though. You'll never be as good as me. Never!" He seems like a complete weirdo to me.

I can't wait for our first mission. I really want the exci--

Chris abruptly stopped writing when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to find Jill. She kept pressing the button. "Yes" she said and then pressed it again. "Yes". She kept doing that until Chris stopped her. "Uhh, Jill? What are you doing here?"

Jill replied "What? You came to me!" Chris became a bit confused. "You were ringing my doorbell, remember?"

Jill paused for a moment. She pressed the button one more time and said "Yes... I was."

Chris then said "So, what do you want?"

"Well, I was thinking, since STARS just formed, maybe we could have a... SLUMBER PAR-TAY!"

Chris paused for a moment. "No, Jill. Go home."

"But! I already got all stuff! I got the snacks, the movies, the seeping' bags, and I bought all the guys!"

Chris was shocked "What!?"

Jill then turned around and yelled "Come on in guys! He said it was alright!"

Chris was getting angry "No I didn't!"

All the guys came in. Barry, Wesker, and Joseph.

"No! You guys have to go!"

Barry replied and said "Come on Chris! This party's gonna be cool! Like me!"

Chris calmed down and said "Alright. We'll have this little party. But, we follow my rules. Since it's my house.

Rule number 1: No touching anything rare"

Chris looked over to Jill to find her playing with a vase.

"Jill! Stop it!"

Jill put the vase down. "Good girl."

"Rule number 2: Don't make a mess.

And number 3; don't do anything I don't approve of"

Joseph was getting impatient "Come on! Let's start the party already"

Chris then said "Okay! Okay. So, what movies did you bring, Jill?"

Jill was stuttering "movies... movies... what movies did I--- Oh yeah! Uhh, I brought"

Jill put a bunch of VHS tapes on the table

"The Tiny Mermaid, Glubber, and Ricky Rouse"

Wesker then replied "Jill, those are all children's movies."

"I knows, 'n' I love 'em."

Chris was a bit embarrassed. "Maybe I could go to the video store"

Barry replied and said "Oh god yes! Anything will be better than this child crud."

Chris then got his coat, went into the car, and drove off.

Joseph was a but attracted to Jill at the time and said "Hey, Jill, could I see you in the hallway real quick?"

Jill was excited and said "Oh oh! Is it a pwesent? I wub pwesents!"

"No. I need to talk to you."

"Aw! That's it!? Well, okay." Joseph brought Jill to the hallway and then blushed. "Uh, Jill, you know that special feeling you get when you--" "When I what?"

"When you--"

"When I what?"

A brief moment of silence occurs.

"When you really--"

"When I what?"

"Jill, I lo--"

"How low can you go!?"

Joseph is disturbed "What?"

Jill brings out a pole and, by accident, smacks Joseph with it.

Chris comes in the door "Hey guys! I got some movies!" Chris finds Joe in the hallway "Oh Joseph, get up. Falling' asleep already? It's only 7 PM"

Wesker then said "Chris, what movies did you get?" Chris put the bag on the table.

"I got,

Super Lario Brothers,

My Big Fat Greek Husband,

And, The Mexorsist"

Barry said "I hear the Mexersist is supposed to be scary"

Chris replied and said "Yeah, obviously Jill can't watch that one why did I get it in the first place?

My Big Fat Greek Husband is supposed to be funny. Jill will laugh really hard and maybe wet herself. Why did I get that one ether?

The only thing I can think of is Super Lario Brothers."

Jill started shouting "Lario Brothers! Lario Brothers! I wanna watch Super Lario Brothers!"

Chris then said "Okay, okay, chill."

Chris popped the movie in the VCR and the movie started.

Jill then whispered "What's Super Lario Brothers?"

Some people came onto the screen. They had a little reptile with them that looked weird.

"Come on Boshi! Let's get down and funky!" A disco ball came out of nowhere and then a princess entered the scene.

"HEY GUYS!11!! FTW LOL I NED A SERUM FROM TEH HOLEY LIGOS!!!!1!11! LOL OR ALS3 IL B KIDNAP3D!1!11 OMG LOL"

Jill leaned over to say to Barry "What's a ligo?"

Barry whispered and said "I think it's those toys for children. You know? Those blocks?"

"Ooooh..."

They turned back to the screen.

"Don't worry, Leach! We'll save you!"

"Come on Lario, let's go!"

The gang watches the movie.

"Here we are! We're at Cowser's castle! Let's go in and--"

The power goes off and everyone is curious what happened.

Jill was screaming "Who turned out the lights!? Who turned out the freaking lights!!?"

Wesker then held Jill and said "Jill, shut up."

"Yes, wesker."

Chris then replied and said "Hey! It started raining! That's odd. It wasn't when I left to get movies."

Joseph yawned and said "Chris, it's 9:30. Could we go to bed?"

Chris looked at Joseph and said "Yeah. I guess we should. Hey Jill, you said you brought sleeping bags, right?"

Jill was already asleep on the couch.

"I'll go turn out the lights." He said.

Barry then said "We barley got any lines today, eh Wesker?"

Wesker paused and said "Don't talk to me."

"Well, I'm going to bad. Good night.

"Night, loser"

"Shut it, whiskers"

"Just go to sleep."

Barry got in his sleeping bag and fell asleep.

Chris came back and got in his sleeping bag. Only Joseph and Wesker were standing up.

"Uhh, I'm going to... go... to... sleep now." Joseph said.

"Night, you little love freak"

"Night."

Joseph fell asleep.

Wesker then got his bag and fell asleep.


End file.
